God, the second guessing..! Its rough. I'm both amazed and not amazed you're able to write all this. It's so much to think/feel. sometimes writing feels like a release of the dam. Sorry about yr mom❤️
"I’m still in bed, at my parents’ house—I guess, technically now, my father’s. (That’s the other thing that has been hard: words. Language. Morphing possessives..."
It took me years to untangle all of the language after my mom died. Not that I wasn't ready to let her go. She suffered for a long time and her death was, in a way, relief. But the forces of habit are a so strong. In a way, I grew to kind of like it over the years.
If I may offer a bit of unsolicited information: people love to say that losses get easier with time. That's bullshit. They don't get easier. We just become expert in the management of sadness.
I'm sorry for your loss. Sending you and yours love, James.
God, the second guessing..! Its rough. I'm both amazed and not amazed you're able to write all this. It's so much to think/feel. sometimes writing feels like a release of the dam. Sorry about yr mom❤️
May your mom's memory be a blessing, James. I'm so sorry for your loss.
"I’m still in bed, at my parents’ house—I guess, technically now, my father’s. (That’s the other thing that has been hard: words. Language. Morphing possessives..."
It took me years to untangle all of the language after my mom died. Not that I wasn't ready to let her go. She suffered for a long time and her death was, in a way, relief. But the forces of habit are a so strong. In a way, I grew to kind of like it over the years.
If I may offer a bit of unsolicited information: people love to say that losses get easier with time. That's bullshit. They don't get easier. We just become expert in the management of sadness.
I'm sorry for your loss. Sending you and yours love, James.